so immediate news


Im showing work at university this thrusday, and while im terribly scared because the tutors seem to be on a rampage of nastyness im also fairly excited because the piece that i am showing does have particular meaning to me and is somethings that i feel would make a good art piece.

The inspiration is from a dialogue between a lecturer and class of students on the subject of abstinance, i will post the actual dialogue and my own possibly adapted version that i practice in my piece on friday after i've shown, im not sure how many people who see my work read this aswell but i wouldn't really like to spoil it too much for them.

The main worry i have is that its not really very weel facilitated, its all well and good to find something that you yoursefl feel very passionate about and that gives you energy when you read and consdier it but trying to translate this to other people could be difficult and just not recieved well....

But i feel the action involed has a real strength to it through its implication, and i did not want to go down the pure implication route and merely make this action over and over, because that would not mean anything, but it means alot when put in the disposable sex context and the way it is communicated.

im going to have a damn good think tonight and then run through with my beautiful assistant tommorow, hopefully all will go well and i will have renewed energy for my art making.

i've been feeling fairly lethargic lately (mainly from going from a stomach bug to a nasty cold but also has something to do with artists block im sure)


On another note i sent a note of interest to a workshop in london to participate in some exciting sounding community work with an installation as the finished piece, its on the 8th 9th and 10th of march which doesn't clash with the cat show either! which is good!


I'm currently aquiring The Fountain by Darren Aronofsky, which i saw in the cinema and wouldn't be afraid to say it is probably my most favourite film.

The imagery is so beautiful it made me tear up and the soundtrack pushed those to actual tears while i watched. The story was at times confusing but often so overwhelmingly ordinary yet fantastical that it was hard to not loose yourself in the world of the film.
I read Sight and Sound's scathing review of it yesterday and was slighly dissapointed, because i loved it so much i at least hoped that it would gain encouraging reviews (although sight and sound dislike pretty much everything). The fountain has been labelled as pretentious by pretty much every review i have read about it.
I don't believe i am in any way a good film critic, nor would i want to be! but i do know that this film touched me somewhere where i hadn't been previously touched by any film.
Like with many films i've been "whoa thats cool" or "hey thats made me think about something i wouldn't have thought of by myself" or "thats an interesting and different perspective" and very very rarely "wow that film was completly engaging" which had only happened once before The Fountain with a Hungarian film called Kontroll, which i adored.
But yes the fountain just filled me with...well...awe! (which is funny if you've seen the film part of it is about finding awe through death)
It really did appeal to my more whimsical part of my brain and soul what beileves in things like the tree of life and heavely enlightenment and transendance.
i don't really have a bad thing to say about this film, it has its flaws but none come to mind, other than slight confusion in plot.
Ah yes! i remember now my major dissapointment with this film was THE TRAILER! thankfully iwent to see it on a recommendation and watched the trailer a few weeks after having seen it, so i wasn't intially jaded by the trailer, but its seriously is a terrible trailer... i think they would have benefited with beaing a little more ambiguous in it...


anyway my back is starting to ache and i feel i still need my rest as i am not at full health yet...
james has gone out for the night and i miss him...

shall blog tommorow with update on work!

I've decided, because my handwriting is poor to very-poor, that i would write about the national review of live art and stick it in my book....or put it in a ring bound folder.

so im going to go through each piece i saw, in no particular order then im going to talk about the show as a whole... then i have some other updates aswell!


Ginny Reed - until my pencil runs out.

In this piece the artist was in a blank white room. she had a pencil and drew a continuos line around the space, stopping only to sharpen the pencil. the performer was dressed darkly and smartly.
The most intresting thing about this piece was that i managed to steal some of the "art". there was a dorrway where Ginny would draw across nothing until she reached the other side of the gap. i stood with a blank piece of paper in the gap and waited for her to approach. she walked by and drew on the paper (it was a small pencil mark barely visable!) but im not sure about this piece at all. its a nice exercise to do within a space, but other than drawing attention to the space i don't see anything else in this piece. it was in no way engaging because after watching for a few minutes you could kind of gather what was going to trancribe for the rest of the duration and uite frankly the imagined version would probably be more entertaining. After amusing myself for about ten minutes i got bored and decided that i would not come back to see this piece. ( i amused myself by following close behind her for a lap of the room, counting how many pencil lines there were, smudging the pencil lines and also standing in her way)


Claire - Flagrante Delicto

Theres something strange, and slightly pretentious about an artist who has a single name/letter/alias as their public name. it makes me think they have something to hide, or they are doing it for the sake of being...'different'. Regardless this piece was quintessentially performance. She had construted a platform with four doors and frames ontop it, they were + in shape and arranggment. For a duration she would open, walk through and then slam the door, then on to the next, open, walk through, slam over and over. The performer was dressed darkly and smartly.
The noise was hard to bear but not terrible, i beileve if the intention was to be irritatingly loud then ampilfication of some sort should have been used.
It looked good, and i can't say that i liked or disliked it, it was engaging but only for a short amount of time, after having walked around a few times and having watched and contemplated it was pretty dull to be there. i went back a few times, the second time i visited one of the door frames had broken and was no longer 'locking' the door in place it swung free. she appeared not to tire which was dissapointing and i noticed she was wearing earplugs, i thought well fair enough because her ears would be shot after that...but felt somehow jipped like i wanted her to be more invested by gruelling this loud duration with more hardship.
Conceptually, it made me recall why doors were slammed in my life, anger and frustration and often the ending of an argument. thereofre this piece made me think that there was some never ending argument with no relif (apology)
It also made me think about domestic violence, for the same reasons above, loud violent arguments, also the fact that the female artist had a shaved head made me recall a skinhead like character, that often nasty men sport as their hairstyle of choice.
Having not been there i would have imagined that the last door slam would have been beautiful....the loud and then silence...very interesting but a little bit...umm hard to appreciate due to the character of the artist and the fact i could not relate to her much...i think... a lack of modesty, but thats just my impression, she could very well be a very loving, kind and modest lady but somehow i don't quite believe it...



Marilyn Arsem - Wintering Over


One of the things i really enjoy about Marilyn Arsem's work is how different one piece to the next can be, but how similaraties pop up in a sort of zig zag graph way. It appears that she has a few ways she likes to work, and to keep things fresh she mixes them up a bit, a very good practice!
This piece Marilyn was in the greenhouse outside, at the far end after entering there was a large mound of dirt or soil, it was perhaps about 13ft squared. the faint outline of a human hip was all i could make out but from that i made an impression in my mind of what position she was in. Every now- and then she would whisper or mumble something, in a very soft pleading almost whimpery voice. the speakers were situated behind the audience and either side of the entrance and there was a slight echo.
She would also occasionally shift a little and you would get a better impression of her form.
This was a lovely piece to sit and watch for a long time, the image was pleasent and you were kept alert and interested by her occasional words.
There was a few dissapointing parts to this piece, she started 2 hours late, which messed up my day plan, i understand things never run smoothly but i can now understand how not starting on time, or not setting realistic times can be detremental to your audience's paitience.
the other slighly dissapointing part was the dirt would thin over her form, and showed that she was covered by some kind of cloth, which shattered my impression of actually being covered in dirt. when this happened Marylins assistant would pick up her mini-spade and scatter dirt to cover Marilyn's exposed parts. this was quite nice to watch, and although it broke some of the awe with the piece it was nice to see that there was practicality behind the image that if it should deteriorate that it was to be kept maintained.
Conceptually speaking i could not divorce my thoughts about how Marilyns work can sometimes be about her dead mother (grandmother?) and since this piece was similar in look and sound to one piece that she said was inspired by her memory of her mother (grandmother?) i couldn't help but think this piece was then about her mother and i could not gather any other conceptual meaning...i realised then how past work can affect new work and similarities are alwasy drawn and how we must be aware when we are making work that previous pieces always come into play.
An enjoyable piece.



Alastair Mc-Lannen - Projection 'Lecture'

Arriving at Tramway in the morning, i visited the Black Market International, there was an annoucment that each artist would be giving a lecture. Alastair Mc Lannen was first so the group and i decided to attend. it was rather busy so i had to sit.
In the large space we went to a corner where there was a blank wall, there was going to be a projection.
I very much expected this to be a lecture, like an informal talk, but Alastair stood next to the projection, motioned for it to start, placed a plastic bag over his head (he was also wearing all black) and the first slide was shown. Alastair would raise his arm slowly and lower it back, when he was lowering his hand the slide was changed. THere were two pictures next to each other, many of lush, green, unspolied countryside, some were of this countryside but heavily littered (with plastic bags and cans) Some slides were of dead (squished) birds, some were of tiny details close up held in somebodys hands (seashells etc)
The lecture carried on for about, 10 minutes after which Alastair took off the bag and bowed his thanks.
I enjoyed this Lecture alot, slow definate performance movements often leave me with a very good feeling (content or mesmerised) the images were beautiful to look at, not superbly shot or composed but very honest and investigative, also i love taking pictures of dead birds myself so...i enjoyed those!
It was good to be able to look at the projection, look over to Alastair and not have either one get in the way of each other but still be able to see each together, but separatly as well.



Black Market International - Eleven participants installed in a space for the duration of a festival.

Well, i don't really know where to start with this!
throughout the festival many of the participants were performing together and separatly, whe n they were hungry or tired they took a break. It was very casual.
Since there was so much going on i couldn't really start to describe everything. there were a few parts that were interesting, i enjoyed watching Ester Ferrer perform with a long table, shoes on the table and a walking stick. She hooked the walking stick to part of the table held on and would run to the other side of the large room and let the table go to hit the far wall, she repeated this a few times.
There was one instance were Alastair Mc lannen placed a full rose into a glass filled with dirt that really appealed to me ( i enjoed the imagery of this single rose in a glass off dirt)
Alastair also stood by this rusty wheel that was sticking out in the air (it was a bicycle wheel sticking from a wrecked car) and he stood for at least a few hours, gently turning it by touching it lighly. He had a fishing net over his head while he did this and was carrying a large white jacket (or piece of cloth)


thats it for tonight im going to write more tommorow.

i'm afraid i've come down all of a sudden with this icky cold that everyone has....am not feeling too well

Oh well.... thing is its so terribly difficult to log into my blog account because the username and password are so bizarre!

I have a lot to talk about!

Anyway, I went to the Glasgow review of live art and saw a lot of live work, which was good.

I’m using tonight to write up all of my thoughts and ideas in my sketch book.

This year was well....pretty consistently good, there were no days which absolutely sucked like last year, I very much enjoyed each day, a lot of performance but also a lot of ...different performance, like this one piece which was like a monologue, or a story in many different parts. I think this piece was my favourite; it was the most engaging of all of them.
I was (and have been since Christmas) feeling pretty unwell, but this piece managed to completely take my mind off of how ill i felt. his name was Allen Johnson, he was American and an amazing public speaker. We were sat in theatre rows and he started the piece sat, with his pants down, on a toilet, and then talked from then on. I was very much amazed by how he managed to keep talking so enthusiastically! He had a lot of energy, but i suspect the stories he told were somewhat scripted. The things he told us were like, universal truths, and very graphic horrifying events (like rape when he was a young boy) and then absolutely beautiful moments (like what love really means, like sharing breath together) but he articulated all these stories so very well, the language was not confusing but eloquent. So I believe this was one of my most favourite pieces.

The other piece that struck me was the piece by Lee Hasell. When I was there on the Thursday by myself i ran into Phil Babot (who had performed the day before) and whilst chatting to him he introduced me to Lee Hasell, who’s hand I shook, I then started to feel really nervous and suddenly thought, 'Oh god, am I networking!?' so after Phil said that Lee was about to perform (in an hour or so) I made a hurried goodbye and totally forgot to say goodbye to Lee! Therefore I felt terrible, like I had shunned him! Really it was just nervousness....
To tell the truth that day i had gone through the programme and tried to narrow down what i wanted to see from the vague description, I had actually crossed Lee Hasell off my list because i wanted to see something else at that time! But out of politeness I ended up going to Lee's piece, which turned out to be one of my favourite performances!
It was a 4-hour durational piece (unfortunately i did not stay for all of it) but I stayed for the first 2(ish) hours.
It was one of those performances that were so...calming, not in the actual content but just in the repetitive motions and subtlety of what was happening.
He had a large cardboard box, in which were all his materials. He started by preparing a little bit and using an object to draw a (almost) perfect circle (he attached some string and chalk to this, round tin and stretched it out until he could go round in a circle, it shifted a little every time)
He used this circle as a marker and started to walk around the edge of it with certain objects from his box (several round dark objects, several hairy objects like ponytails/plaits cut off, hollow round metal tins, a slap stick where when he would flick his wrist it would make a snapping sound, and a long stick) He took an object, one at a time, carefully looking around his circle and would place one object at a time then circle it again and maybe move it if he was not happy. With the slap stick he would walk around making the snapping noise. With the long stick he attached the dark round objects to it and would roll the bottom on the floor while holding the top of the stick. He would pace several times around this circle with or without objects and move things a few times, it seemed like he was lining objects up across from each other, but then he would move them.
The feeling I got from this performance cannot be described, I’m feeling it right now thinking about it, its sort of a fuzzy tingle, my head feels heavy in a very good way, its mesmerizing and so very peaceful to watch, at times I thought I would fall asleep (as I was very tired!) but I believe this feeling was not sleepiness, as I feel it every time I think of this performance...
I can't quite explain why but the feeling that I get from this performance makes it one of the best I have ever seen. Maybe it was actually some kind of spell! Maybe I slipped into meditation! I can't be sure. But I know I love the feeling!
The only other performance I got this feeling from was Kevin Henderson's 12-hour piece at Trace that I went to see at 6.00am again a very slow hypnotic piece, which just kept me there for at least an hour.

The other great thing I saw was the Black Market International! Which is a large group of performance artists (in constant member change) for the whole festival they (8 or 9) interacted with tons of props/materials placed on tables in the massive space and they interacted with each other. It was great to watch and moments were beautiful, some were funny. It just looked like a great exercise and I believe a large group of friends are intending to do the same type of exercise (of which I’m included) this I believe will be very strange for me! This is definitely not how I work...I don't think I am that kind of performance artist, so it might turn out to be great or horrible!
But fun either way! Collaboration! yay!

So the other things I want to talk about.

I've been in a massive rutt as of late, but I was sort of cured today as I came up with some ideas! Which don't seem to be too tripe!
I'm a little scared seeing as Rufus (a classmate who showed work today) got chewed up and spat out!
Who’s piece I didn't think was too terrible, Very uncomfortable but not terrible, seemed a lot more like a sketch than a finished piece but i liked that idea of possibly being allowed to watch a sketch being made rather than being showed a polished 'art'

Rachel's video was lovely; it was very well edited and very well set up, three screens showed highly manipulated footage of water (I think). It was very ambient and relaxing to watch.

I didn't get to see the other piece, I had a small problem in the crit with how the artist explained herself but that's not really important.

I think I have a slight bee in my bonnet regarding tutors personal preference of students, but this always happens.
But personally I do feel terrible with the possibility that someone does not like me, so I am hoping its nothing personal...

The last thing I wanted to muse on was, a while back, we had a visit from our external examiner Roddy Hunter (a lovely man with a fantastic accent!)
He talked about how he found it interesting that many students have an art practice for Uni and then a separate practice that they indulge in at home.
How very true, I thought immediately of my performance and my illustration. I would never ever dream of showing my illustrations at uni (other than appropriate ones from my sketch books) they are on my website, but that’s because I want to try to pursue an illustration path later in life, if my performance work does not bear fruit.

The truth is i find performance terribly difficult. Due to the fact that I want meaning to be in my work, with a clear engagement with the issues that I am interested in and so much of performance seems slap-dash and devoid of head-strong tackling of issues. I find it hard to divide myself from the pack.
Do I make something that looks like performance? Or do I make something which truly deals with my feminist issues?

I know what I 'WANT' to do, which is definitely the latter, but I often worry that it would not be met with positive reaction.
Often its also very hard to articulate my concerns in any medium!

My My
But then again when I go home I love nothing more than to get out a blank sheet of paper and doodle Salem (my Manga/Comic character) till my hearts content!
Perhaps it’s some kind of therapy!
I really do hope I can develop my illustration more, and also my vector style graphical illustration, because I feel so much pride when I create an image I really love, and that I can get printed for my family.......its very difficult to print up feminist issues!

Oh my parents loved my Dissertation! I am so very happy; it really enlightened my mother (my father was a 'little' bit enlightened)
They ended up showing it to a lot of people in the pub! eek! But they liked it too....so positive!

So that’s it for now. I need to crack on with work!

Or maybe play harvest moon for a little bit! hmmmm!