So, after feeling quite bizarre earlier i've gotten back to "normality"


I have been thinking about the whole art context of the work that i'm making and i've come to the conclusions that: often art needs to be whats conventional as 'art', its pleasent and its safe.
But when it becomes something not so tried and tested, it becomes interesting because so many other factors come into consideration regarding its existance and the debate about whether its art or not comes up. which is not explored enough.

because a painting is a painting or a sculpture is a sculpture or a video is a video you don't really ask the question well, is this art? because its established already to some extent that it is art.

i feel validated by what i'm doing because it helps people, it allows me to gain a wider understanding for my ultimate goal, its interesting and to some extent fairly new, its self-debatable you can talk about it within it, not around it or after it, but through while you are experiencing it.
I'm getting great documentation from it, and building relationships with people that will last longer than the extent of the art piece, because they are involved i am involved and in a way through my research they will be there within the piece until (if ever) it is completed.

I was brought some Fimo (modelling clay) today, by my guest and i was confused as to what to do with it. This piece has no tangible structures other than my own thinking-actions.
so while in my state of mild boredom i have been just playing with it, and the shapes it takes while i think then become "sculptures"

I'm feeling today as if i could spend a lot longer in here, and it would be great thought wise and revelations wise, but i do believe it would drive me mad, not in a ultimatly bad way, but i do belive there is a limit per time that i could perform this, and as much as my thoughts and mind have been expanded, i also crave to get back to the normality of my everyday life.

i also miss fresh air and exercise.

i think i have come across a way to explore thoughts now, remove stimulus and push yourself.

after talking with a guest, i want to get out of here even more.

not because of the guest or anything we talked about/said to each other, but because the fact that i'm even now at the end of my time here beginning to discover things, about life and art and everything. it scares me.

im scared by the prospect of suddenly coming to a conclusion that perhaps i haven't thought that i would and that potentially the suprise could kill me.

i just used the word kill, thats quite strange, i think i was gunning more towards "could drive me insane".

i've also just noticed how more and more my thought process has become more and more narrative.

i'm not quite sure whats happening but i'm delightfully scared but not as much as i would be if i was in here for another extended period of time.